About

Department of Homeland $pending (DH$) is in no way, shape or form affiliated with the United States Government.  While DH$ may be fictional, the ideas it reflects are not.

As deficits skyrocket, more Americans begin to realize Washington is out-of-touch and out-of-control.  But don’t take our word for it…

“I don’t expect to actually read the legislative language because reading the legislative
language is among the more confusing things I’ve ever read in my life.”
― Senator Tom Carper

Although funny and satirical, this site reflects common-sense ideas from America’s middle majority.  Share your ideas and concerns with fellow Americans on our Sound Off Wall.

 

Meet Brad Wiggins


Public Affairs Czar
Department of Homeland $pending

As Public Affairs Czar for the United States Department of Homeland $pending, Brad Wiggins serves as the face of Washington to America.  Called the ‘master debater’ in college, Brad ‘Wordsmith’ Wiggins has a knack for turning boredom into brilliance.  In layman’s terms, ‘Brad Wiggins could sell ice to an Eskimo…and charge those Eskimos double.’

“My job is to tell Americans what they want to hear,” says Wiggins. “Environmentally speaking, I turn turds into tulips.”  Simply put, Brad Wiggins’ top priority is to reassure taxpayers that Washington isn’t wasting all of their money.

“Trust me, I know a lot of people envy my job — the spotlight of it all–my semi-close relationship to the lovely Nancy Pelosi-the job security and high pay. It seems like a good gig, I know. But, for everyone out there who thinks he/she has what it takes to do what I do, I say you can’t! You try to explain to the American public how we mailed 3900 stimulus checks to prison inmates. Let’s see you explain the economic philosophy behind ’spending your way out of debt’. Truth be told, America is lucky to have me in their service.”

It’s not a Democrat problem.  It’s not a Republican problem.  It’s a $pending problem.